


Specific Questions

by wisekrakens



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: AU, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-06
Updated: 2014-04-06
Packaged: 2018-01-18 07:56:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1420507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wisekrakens/pseuds/wisekrakens
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Specific questions related to the implementation of this guidance can be directed to Ms. Meredith McKay, (phone number redacted) or (email address redacted), in our office.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Specific Questions

**Author's Note:**

  * For [popkin16](https://archiveofourown.org/users/popkin16/gifts).



“Specific questions related to the implementation of this guidance can be directed to Ms. Meredith McKay, (phone number redacted) or (email address redacted), in our office.” __

_You piss off one person and suddenly you’re stuck playing secretary for glorified HR. Yes, this makes sense, let’s set the brightest mind of this generation to answering half-a-fucking-hundred of the same poorly spelled questions about what some peon is allowed to tell some other peon. No discoveries need to be made! Nothing needs to be designed or built or interpreted! Good job, everyone, let’s go home because WE’VE ACHIEVED EVERY GOAL EVER AND NO MORE WORK NEEDS TO BE DONE._

_EVER._

_Breathe, Meredith. You did not smash your way through grabby-hands grad school to be laid low by international policy. You laugh in the face of international policy. Hell, you’re an international policy. They ain’t got shit on you._

_Waaaaaah, eleven new emails. Why, God, why me._

_Okay, that’s spam. That’s spam. That’s – what the hell, how does an Adam and Eve email get through the NASA filter? I’m not even embarrassed; that’s fucking impressive._

_That is a very bendy man._

_Okay, focus, woman, focus._

_“Can I tell them – “ Nope._

_“I was talking with a Russian group – “ Then your boss knows more about the situation than me, and he’s the person you should be asking._

_Wait, no. This is Hinkle, so his boss is Morsi._

_My deepest, deepest sympathies. But I still don’t know._

_“Are you sure I can’t tell them – “ How in the ever-loving Milky Way did you get a security clearance, Caldeira. If you have to ask, the answer is probably no._

_“I’m dating a girl in the Russian space program.” Why? “We met during last year’s conference -- ” Don’t care. “Is that a security problem – “ Fuck if I know._

_Oh, God damn it, I’m supposed to know._

_Uh, “You might be looking for the real HR to answer that.”_

_Yeah, that sounds official. Send._

_Fuck, but I could use some coffee._

_Radka should be on her break, right?_

I need coffee. You in? – M

Busy. – R

With what? – M

Science. – R

Fuck you. – M

No thank you. Too busy building new solar panel for ISS. – R

Unsure about company policy on vulgarity in IRC. – R

Maybe you could explain it to me. – R

Fuck you. – M

New air force rep might help you with that problem. – R

You could go be vulgar together. – R

The major? She’s hot. – M

And don’t pretend you’re not swearing at that solar panel right now. – M

It’s your fault my Czech is half insults, half profanity. – M

Is still sexual harassment even if it’s between two women. – R

Fuck you. – M

I’m getting coffee and you’re no longer invited. – M

I’m crying into my solar panel. – R

Fuck, thirteen new emails. – M

I’m crying into my keyboard. – M

Clean it afterwards. – R __

_Fucking fuckers never start a new pot – is that BLEACH?_

_God, you’d think working at NASA would get me smarter coworkers. Where’s the soap hiding…_

_I got two doctorates so that I wouldn’t have to do dishes and here I am, doing_ other people’s _dishes. Oh, Mother, if you could only see me now. You’d be so proud._

_Damn, that new major is smoking. I don’t know what the hell she’s doing over here in the hallowed hells of HR, but I am so far beyond complaining because damn, that uniform looks good on everybody._

_Fucking Radka. Now I have to sit here and wait for it to brew all on my lonesome._

_OH NO._

_IT’S HOT._

_IT’S VERY HOT._

_WHY IS THERE NO COLD WATER IN THIS FAUCET. WHO DIDN’T CONNECT THIS FAUCET PROPERLY._

_IT’S SECOND DEGREE FOR SURE. MAYBE THIRD._

_PROBABLY THIRD._

_I’M GONNA LOSE THE HAND. WHO WANTS TO HIRE A ONE-HANDED SCIENTIST? NO ONE, THAT’S WHO. ONE-HANDED SCIENTISTS DON’T WIN NOBELS._

_OH, I’M GOING TO DIE ALONE AND PENNILESS WITH NO ONE TO TAKE CARE OF ME BECAUSE THEY’RE ALL IDIOTS WHO SHOULD’VE CONNECTED THEIR FAUCETS PROPERLY AND HUMANITY WILL SUFFER WITHOUT ALL OF THE BREAKTHROUGHS I COULD’VE MADE –_

_Oh, there it is._

_That feels nice._

_Does the major look like she wants coffee? I bet she wants coffee. Everyone wants coffee._

_Damn, she’s hot._


End file.
